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Guest Post: Brian’s Thanksgiving Guide

By Marcus | In Uncategorized | on November 24, 2010

Today we have a guest post from Brian, one half of Team Pasta Power. Let me first preface this post by saying — the views expressed in this article are those of the author (Brian) and do not reflect the official policy or position of the CrossFit Intrepid or any of its trainers.

That said, Brian took some umbrage with Ruth’s Survival Guide to Thanksgiving and had the following response:

Let me be the first to say this is not an anti-Paleo rant, I have witnessed the benefits and results of the diet and yes… have been known from time to time to dabble. This rant is in defense on the BEST holiday ever and no one… not even the Son of Zeus himself (or his lady), is going to diminish the amplitude of the day. So when I first read “Thanksgiving Survival Guide” my defenses were already up. I revised the original list for those of us who live in bliss… sometimes known as ignorance…. But that’s beside the point.

1. Prioritize your PLATE: If you’re like me, the mere act of fitting all the goodness on one plate is like Tetris on Level 99 when the music is all fast. So here it’s key to avoid the crap that you can get everyday like dinner rolls or some b/s salad. Needless to say everything is getting smothered and covered with gravy anyways, so make it work.

2. BYO-B: Lets be honest, whats BYO without the B!? probably BORING that’s what. Besides the “B” is the only thing that keeps me interested in another atrocious Detroit Lions performance other than getting another “B” or going “P”. Downside is filling your stomach with “B” before all that Thanksgiving goodness, so you can always sub out the “B” and BYOJD and coke.

3. Leave NO leftover behind: 10 lbs of stuffing leftover?? Back the truck UP!!!

4. Earn your Cheat: “Earn” is very subjective here. Everyone has their own Thanksgiving traditions so I’ll cover a few and how most can “earn” their dinner.

Football- Let’s be clear Ruth, much like fun and run, friendly and football don’t go together. Your 50 year old uncle catches a pass on you, you’re going to hear it until Christmas… or later! God forbid it’s a catch for a touchdown. Lock it down with a solid bump and run or better yet be a spy linebacker. Make a statement when your 18 year old cousin tries to catch one in the middle by knocking him out of his cleats. (just don’t lead with the head that’s a no-no) Congrats you’ve earned it!

Fun…ugh.. Run – Okay for those crazy people who want to get up early on a HOLIDAY and run for an extended amount of time, you DEFINITELY earn it. Even contemplating signing up I would give you a pass. Now I know what youre going to say… “well we probably run the same distance as those playing football”. Not quite. After a few intense minutes, most realize why the annual football game is only played once a year, quit and promptly start cracking open some “B”s.

Short Week Festivities – One of the best traditions of Thanksgiving is the short work week, essentially making Wednesday a Friday. This means you can get completely bombed on Wed night with no remorse of having to explain to your co-workers why you thought it was such a great idea when you are wearing the same thing as Tuesday. Some have traditions of meeting up with old friends at a local bar and catch up over a few glasses of chardonnay. Just a few, you gotta keep it together to be presentable for the family tomorrow or worse yet… have to cover that 18 yr old cousin in your annual “friendly” game of football. And if you’re like my friends the chardonnays are shots and a few equals a few dozen and keeping it together turns into find whatever mischief we can get into (it sounded like a good idea initially!). Anyways, if you’re like that the mere fact of getting up and putting on pants is a definite earn. You don’t want to be that relative who ends up Donald Duckin it in front of grandma.

Crossfit Wednesday before Thanksgiving – Okay, this is not my first rodeo so I know whats coming. Our loving coaches relish in the fact the holidays come up on the calendar solely for the fact that they can concoct some hellish workout and give it a cute holiday themed name (i.e.,  “12 days of Christmas”). If you suffer through one of these… SOLID earn!

In all seriousness, we have all earned it through our hard work, blood, sweat and sometimes tears (yes I can admit ive cried on the inside on a few workouts). Its been close to a year since ive started CFI and its awesome to workout alongside such a motivated group of athletes and talented and dedicated trainers. I’m very proud to call this gym my home and wish you all (wherever you may be) a Happy Thanksgiving.

WOD 11.24.10

7 rounds for time:

  • 5 Handstand Pushups
  • 10 Deadlifts
  • 10 Chest-to-bar Pullups
  • 20 Double Unders

23 Comments to "Guest Post: Brian’s Thanksgiving Guide"

  • melissa says:

    November 24, 2010 at 7:06 AM -

    beautiful. just…. gorgeous. my eyes are tear-filled, and i’m so stoked for “b”s and football and the cheats it’s looks like i have earned / will earn. happy thanksgiving indeed, friends!!! i will see you on monday when i am easily five pounds heavier. 😉

  • Anna says:

    November 24, 2010 at 7:20 AM -

    My boyfriend is so funny!!!! have a wonderful turkey day Intrepids!

  • Jake says:

    November 24, 2010 at 7:37 AM -

    Solid post lol

    1. Marcus says:

      November 24, 2010 at 8:00 AM -

      Cute post Brian, but WTF… why you gotta drag my poor Lions into this??

  • ruth says:

    November 24, 2010 at 8:15 AM -

    Hysterical post, Brian, although I’m a bit miffed about being reduced to the Son of Zeus’ ‘lady’…

    Oh, and “Donald Duckin’ it front of grandma” just trumped “C block!”

    Congrats, you just earned yourself a permanent recurring “guest post” spot on Must Read Sundays!!


  • ruth says:

    November 24, 2010 at 8:47 AM -

    Oh, and way to be racist, suggesting Big Wok for the November bdays…Mike, Xuan, and me? 😉

    If there’s anything we know about Brian, he’s definitely racist! Such a jerkface.

  • Xuan says:

    November 24, 2010 at 8:52 AM -

    Aha ha hah aha!!! I bet Brian honed his plate prioritizing skills at Vegas buffetts.

    @Ruth, I don’t care why Big Wok was the choice, I just care that it IS the choice! Big Wok Rules!

  • Tamme says:

    November 24, 2010 at 8:53 AM -

    This post is great! Just finished with the WOD. I actually had steam coming from the top of my head. It wasn’t bad tho.

    Happy Thanksgiving Day All!

  • Nick says:

    November 24, 2010 at 8:57 AM -

    Brian, you sir, are a Thanksgiving veteran.

    Let’s see how many plates you can stuff in one hour (AMPAP 1 hour). Over under is 5.

  • ruth says:

    November 24, 2010 at 9:01 AM -

    What’s the line on how many “B”s he gets down?

    1. Marcus says:

      November 24, 2010 at 9:03 AM -

      Since Brian regularly drinks the watered down urine known as Bud Light, I’m sure he can finish off a case by himself without much of a buzz.

  • Jason says:

    November 24, 2010 at 9:07 AM -

    Hilarious – love Tetris reference and lock it down. Both entering my lexicon for the holiday!

  • avelyne says:

    November 24, 2010 at 9:12 AM -

    Here here on the BYOJD!!! Have a Happy Thanksgiving Intrepids!

  • melissa says:

    November 24, 2010 at 9:15 AM -

    oooh, is it only an hour for the AMRAP? i don’t know about you guys, but i eat like six meals and eight snacks on thanksgiving… can we make it AMRAP for the full 24 hrs?

  • Pooja says:

    November 24, 2010 at 9:17 AM -

    brian, my friend, you are my new inspiration. how you got this post on the intrepid website boggles my mind. good job! it’s like you’re Prometheus stealing light from the Greek Gods! bahahahah AWESOME POST! i died of laughter.

    and with that i say… pull an obama, pardon a turkey this holiday season :)

  • Brian says:

    November 24, 2010 at 9:33 AM -

    Okay, This was a comment originally. I saw that Ruth sneakily posted her survival guide on a sunday knowing the traffic was low, to avoid any smart a$$ comments. In the words of my idol (Lee Corso)… NOT SO FAST!!!

    Marcus stole it and used it for his own benefit…so no i have no remorse on my Lions comment. And Bud light is used to rehydrate after 1 or 8 JDs

    @Ruth – I initially thought Sean had posted it so that was the reference then went back and made the addition.. besides its better than “his old lady”.. which i would NEVER think of saying. And im not racist… but i am selfish… ME RIKEY BIG WORK!!! (prob a poor choice of words)

  • Jenna says:

    November 24, 2010 at 9:37 AM -

    this post was GLORIOUS. laughed practically the whole way through!!


  • Xuan says:

    November 24, 2010 at 9:49 AM -

    Wait…did my place in the doghouse just get taken by Brian?!

  • James says:

    November 24, 2010 at 9:57 AM -

    haha… this post is AWESOME. the “B” options are endless for me this week since i’ll be in vegas

    BYOV and redbull

    the possibilities are endless

  • melissa says:

    November 24, 2010 at 10:10 AM -

    holy shit, brian… first the snatch comments and now the blatant racism… you are fast becoming my new favorite person EVER.

  • Al says:

    November 24, 2010 at 10:23 AM -

    Fantastic post Brian. When we go around the Thanksgiving table and recite what we are thankful for, I will say, “Brian’s Thanksgiving Guide.”

    Happy Thanksgiving CFI!

  • Holley says:

    November 24, 2010 at 2:33 PM -

    OMG, hilarious post Brian! I was laughing out loud at my desk reading this…and I’m pretty sure everyone around me is staring at me now. I love the Tetris analogy, and I’m totally with you about the Lions game…they picked Detroit for the Thanksgiving day game, really???

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

  • Michael H says:

    November 24, 2010 at 4:40 PM -

    First I’d like to give thanks to my 1st grade teacher Mrs. Fisher for teaching me how to read. Without her I would not have been able to enjoy the laughter that Brian brings into my world.

    A solid post!

    Happy Thanksgivig everyone! You all kick ass!

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